free samples
the author
reviewer copy
"Get thine ass out of here!"
Religious Satire by Gary Canup
Copyright 2016 by Gary Canup
Somewhere I had written that, on the whole, nonbelievers tend to be smarter than believers, and that believers also have a tendency to use faulty arguments to defend their indoctrinated belief in a God.

An indignant believer, who obviously fancied herself smart because she had a degree in business, wrote back to say: "Einstein believed in God. Are you smarter than Einstein?"

I sent her the following quotation: "It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it." - Albert Einstein*

I then said to the indignant believer: "Einstein did not believe in God. Are you smarter than Einstein?"

Predictably, she did not respond. But I am willing to bet that she is still using her bogus argument on others because such people have no respect for the truth.

Which reminds me of a quotation from poet and critic Dame Edith Sitwell: "I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it."

More quotes, but funny ones:

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish." [Unknown]

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me." [Emo Philips]

"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs." [Again Unknown]

"When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion." [Robert M. Pirsig]
* in a letter March 24, 1954; from Albert Einstein, the Human Side, Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, eds., Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 1981, p. 43.